From a UF project:
He found Bernadette’s body laid out in a plain wooden box. Her weathered hands had been crossed over her chest and a chain of wildflowers had been threaded through her linked fingers. Her long iron gray hair had been meticulously and lovingly braided, strands of hammered gold and silver woven into the lengths. She’d been carefully dressed in white, what looked to be an antique wedding dress. Her feet were left bare and more wildflowers were strewn around her ankles.
Sadie was draped over the box, her blond hair matted with the blood of victims who’d refused to leave the demon to her private grief. Her clawed hands had worn deep grooves in the side of the smooth pine box.
Ooooh -- gives me chills!
ReplyDeleteMakes one want to know more, much more!!
ReplyDeleteNia- Thanks! I love chills. That tells me I should keep writing.
ReplyDeleteCarol- Yay! Thank you.
How about eight sentences? Want more.
ReplyDeleteLori- Thanks! That makes my day. So, just for you, three more. (Otherwise I'd have to post the whole chapter.)
ReplyDelete"She looked up, her teeth bared ready to destroy anyone else who trespassed here. Her tears were acid down her face, ruining her youth, her beauty and revealed the scaled and twisted monster beneath. Sadie howled again as her pain overflowed the small part of her that had loved."
Oh, like this, like the extra stuff in your comments (Her tears were acid, etc--man, that's good stuff, really!) But...but...the blog itself, the six sentences, Saranna...I've counted out a few times, even pulled my shoes off to make sure but, er, there's seven sentences up there--right? Tell me I'm right and not just seeing things...
ReplyDeleteFun stuff!
Oh, you're right. I can't count. LOL. :) Eh well. I blame it on book brain.
ReplyDeleteSo poignant - great work, making me feel sorry for a demon. :)
ReplyDeleteVery intense and compelling!
ReplyDeleteVery intense! Makes me want to read more.
ReplyDeleteGripping and packed with details.
ReplyDeleteEek. Creepy. Good, but creepy. Good use of imagery.
ReplyDeleteOooh, I want to know more. So many questions! Great job!
ReplyDeleteAwww... Sad and creepy, and visually vivid. Well done!
ReplyDeleteI'm caught by the lovely imagery describing death and demon such vivid words.
ReplyDeleteWow, that is a clear image, and not one I'm likely to forget anytime soon.
ReplyDeleteChilling. Creepy. Fantastic.
ReplyDeleteWhat a poignant portrait of grief.
ReplyDeleteGuess demons are people, too.
Wow. You've created a really vivid picture in this scene. I can't recall ever seeing grief portrayed better than you have.
ReplyDeleteTakes me in so many directions. Can't wait to read more.
ReplyDeleteHeartbreaking and a lil scary too.
ReplyDeleteThanks for all of the comments! I'm so glad it came across.
ReplyDeleteThis whole book has been very hard to write.
Thanks again!
Love the visuals here. Very well done!
ReplyDeleteBest,
Allure Van Sanz
very vivid scene, kinda reminded me of that Nick Cave and Kylie M song, Where The Wild Roses Grow. I'd love to read more of this chilling story. Nice six xx
ReplyDeleteAwww. :( I love the description...as morbid as that is.
ReplyDeleteThat brought about a vivid mental picture! Great job!
ReplyDeleteWow. Want to read more please!
ReplyDelete